Sometime in the not too distant future.
“Good morning sir. Welcome to Rolex! How can I help you?”
“I’m interested in the new 41.5mm Submariner.”
“Excellent. That’s quite a size advantage though. Are you sure you can adjust to the extra weight and wrist presence?”
“I already own a 41.25mm, I think I can handle it.”
“Good. Some people are traumatized by the extra 1/4 millimeter. It’s a brave step on Rolex’s part! If you suddenly suffer from insomnia or bedwetting, we have a support group that meets here on Thursdays.”
“Thanks. I’m sure I’ll be fine.”
“Excellent! All you need to do is sign this double indemnity life insurance policy and the legal document bequeathing all of your internal organs to Rolex in the event of sudden death… and a payment of $40,000 – preferably in cash.”
“Forty grand for a $10,000 watch!???”
“Oh, it’s not for the guard, sir. This is just the registration fee for our waiting list.”
“How long is the wait?”
“Sir, need I remind you that Einstein already proved that time is relative?”
[Customer looks skeptical]
“However, if time is of the essence, I am pleased to announce the opening of our new cryogenic freezing facility adjacent to our foundry. We can keep you on hold until a new sub is available.”
“Wow! And I thought it was impressive to make my own coil springs.”
“It’s all part of our new service. We’ll warm you up every five years to update you on our progress – and berate you for not buying a Yacht-Master II instead.”
“I could offer you to rent our special DeLorean for $200,000/day and you could pick up your sub immediately, or you could consider a Tudor Black Bay – the waiting list for that is only 45 years.”
“This is crazy! The entire watch industry has gone completely crazy!!!”
Another guest who had been waiting speaks up: “You think this is crazy?” Be sure to check out the FP Journe boutique! They are accepting applications for the new Chronomètre Bleu Squid Game.” 🥸🤡
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